Too Much

I gave it the good college effort, but today was rough. I found myself having to sit down more often, walking slower than normal, and feeling just plain exhausted. Who would have thought nipples would do that to a person?

I wish I could see them. Maybe on Thursday. I did face my challenge of taking a "sponge bath" today. Would you like to know one of man's greatest inventions? It is so simple. It is so affordable. It can be used for oh so many things. Press and Seal. What an awesome invention. It sticks to everything, including skin. So guess who was standing in front of the mirror this morning trying to figure out the best way to attatch plastic wrap to herself? It worked for the most part. Towards the end of the shower things were starting to get damp, but you can imagine the difficulty in moving with plastic on your chest. Crinkle crinkle crinkle. But I got my shower, darn it.

Tonight is the meeting for the cancer walk our town has each year, The Mississippi Shuffle. It is very informal tonight, but it still gets me excited for the summer event. The first year that I walked after diagnosis was bitter sweet. Survivors walk the first lap of the weekend, ahead of everyone. I felt very self conscious, the only one with a bandana (I had just finished chemo), and I didn't want to walk in front of everyone. I didn't want to be singled out, cancer had done that on it's own. The next year, with more hair, more courage, it was easier. I took more time to look at all of the bags, at all of us survivors. I spent more time focused on my internal thoughts, on how powerful of an event that I was a part of. I spent more time thinking of the people around me who were newly diagnosed, Annette, my neighbor, and hoping that they knew how much love and positive thoughts were being sent their way. I wear my Shuffle Shirts with pride. I wear them for all survivors. When I wear them, I feel strong, I feel like I have won. There is so much power in the weekend of The Shuffle, like nothing else you can experience, and I only hope I can share a fraction of the emotion that goes with the event.