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Saturday, July 29, 2006

From When to When?

As I was driving to my friends house to feed her cats this morning, I noticed these bright yellow signs posted for a garage sale. I thought back to a few weekends ago when we had ours and how hot it was and felt bad for these people this weekend. I saw the yellow sign, and it said from 7-9:30. Holy cow! Those people are devoted to their garage sale to stay out there that long! Wait. That's 7am-9:30am. 2 and a half hours? I would love to see how much they make in those 2 and a half hours. Why even bother setting up for a garage sale? Anyone who has done one knows how much time and effort goes into a garage sale. Oh oh....I only have a half an hour until it's over. Better get going if I want to make it.....

Friday, July 28, 2006

The Domino Effect

Done. I am done done done with medical professionals. Why you ask? What could make me so bitter, so upset that I have to blog about it? Easy folks. Sit back, grab a cup of joe, and let me tell you a little story called "Get to Know Sue Inside and Out".

I have been having cramping pain in my gut for almost a week now. As I stated earlier in this blog, I thought I had the flu again, which I did, but the cramping has been hanging around. So, being the dutiful patient that I am, I called my oncologist, who suggested that I get it checked out sooner than later. Which brings us to today. I made an appointment with my obgyn. Here's the thing with the cramps. Since I am in menopause induced chemically, I should not be having cramps. And that's what the cramping feels like. So I go in and they take my blood pressure....135/100!! Ok, chalk it up to nerves. They do it again after a bit....140/100...yikes, getting worse! I meet with the doctor, and we discuss everything, I mention that I know one of the drugs I am on can cause ovarian cancer and that is basically why I was there. We do part one of "Get to Know Sue Inside and Out". Nothing. She orders an ultrasound just to be sure. She takes my blood pressure again. And I quote, "It's still crappy."

She leaves the room to print the orders and comes back with an appointment with an Internal Medicine doctor to check everything out. Great. I head over there and get in right away, which was nice. I chat with the doctor about things, and at one point he asked if I was on an anti-biotic. I said no, but that I had finished one about 3 weeks or so ago. Hmmmm. I don't like "hmmmmm". That usually means something, and I don't like it when it means something.

He tells me he needs blood and urine. Nothing new. Been there, done that. Then he says this....

"And a stool sample."

What? Excuse me? Please tell me he said pool, or cool, or jewel. Why in the hell, and how in the hell?!? He explains that sometimes when a person takes an antibiotic, that along with killing bad bacteria, it kills the good bacteria, leaving a person with an infection in their bowel. That would be my luck. An infected poop shoot. I asked about diverticulitis, which is what happens to my mom, and he said that it would be rare in a person my age to have that. I paused and said that it was rare for a person of my age to have cancer. He said "Good point.".

So I got the blood and pee part out of the way, and they sent me home with a "Let's See How Embarrassed We Can Make You" kit. Now, I am going on record here. Keep in mind that I have had boobs removed, I have had new ones put back on, I have had new nipples created out of my own flesh, I have given birth twice, I get all of my yearly exams, and NOTHING compares to trying to get your own poop sample. All I could think was,

"Ohhhh the poor soul who has to open these bottles...."

It is sick and wrong wrong wrong. I went in for my ovaries, and there I was trying not to vomit and trying to remember which bottle had to go in the fridge. In the fridge. We put our food in there, not what happens to food after you eat it! Something was not right about that. So I made the trip back to the clinic to get those bio-hazards out of our house. I said to the lab lady, "Special delivery!". She didn't laugh. She certainly won't laugh when she opens those bottles. And now we wait.

I am never going to the doctor again.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

15 Seconds of Fame

I have been trying to think of a title for this entry and I guess I will have to settle with what I have above. And yes, I meant to put 15 "Seconds", not minutes, because you see, all it seems to take in this world in some cases, is 15 seconds to prove you just may be not the brightest bulb in the batch. The cream of the crop, the top dog, the king of the castle, the grand poobah (thanks to Dion for helping me pick choice phrases).

And here is today's example. I was walking to my car after making a purchase at Target for an upcoming bridal shower when I noticed a fella walking in front and to the right of me. I noticed a little piece of cellophane fly through the air.

"Hmm....must have caught a gust of wind" I thought.

Until I saw the whole wrapper to a CD fly through the air. What an idiot. I'm sure he threw it on the ground because there wasn't a garbage around. Wait. I suppose he could have put it in his car. Ok, so I bet he did that because he has a skin allergy to plastic and he wanted to get rid of it very fast. Oh, wait, but how would you explain how he held the case to the CD? Oh oh oh!!! I know! I know! How about this....HE'S JUST A MORON WITH NO RESPECT FOR ANY OTHER PERSON WHO HAS TO COME IN CONTACT WITH THAT PLASTIC (such as I, who picked it up).

So there you go. The first installment of 15 Seconds of Fame. More to come, I'm sure. These people are everywhere!

Monday, July 24, 2006

How is it Possible?

I have the flu AGAIN. AGAIN, I say. Now, if I remember right, that would be 4 times in the past 7 months. Does chemo have this effect for life, or am I just a wuss? Hell, it's been two years since I finished the real chemo.

Ok, I have to crawl back to the couch.......

Saturday, July 22, 2006


Blame My Sister....

My little Belle Belle

Bright light! Bright light!!

I can't explain them....

Nadia's got crazy hair too!

We're all happy...yeee haw!

We're all angry.....grrrrr

Kickin back

We're hoping this is not a career choice for Claire

Peas in a pod

Nadia and her tiny Crocks

Claire and her cousin Kaitlyn

He's Kind of Like Beans....

He just keeps coming back to haunt us. For God's sake people, if you buy something at a garage sale and notice that the directions are missing, chalk it up to saving a few bucks and leave the poor souls alone.

That's right. Just when you think the saga of our garage sale was coming to an end....he's baaaaaaack! Only this time my mom was watching the girls when he showed up at the door (again) wanting to know if the directions to the game he bought at our garage sale were found (again). Seriously, I believe he spent a dollar on the game. And it wasn't even our game, it was our neighbors. Stop the insanity! Don't go back to garage sales after you purchase items, it's just weird.

I am hoping our encounter with the man who is like beans is over now. But for some reason I think it has only just begun.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

A Landfill? Nope, Just Dion's Car

I have mentioned that we had a garage sale last weekend. We are lucky enough to be able to borrow these HUGE wooded signs from Dion's boss. They are awesome and we get compliments on them each year. But, like I said, they are huge which means that Dion has to take my van to work so he can pick them up. Which means that I had to drive his car. A car that I once was the primary driver. I loved and cared for that car. I said nice things to it, it treated me well. Then we got the 1990 Blazer, which whom I loved from day one, but that's another story.

So I got to reconnect with my old car. I was looking forward to spending a nice day with the car I once loved. Until I opened the door. What I saw made my heart bleed. My poor old car had been turned into a landfill. BY MY HUSBAND! And worse yet, I forgot that some damage had been done to the radio, which meant no music for me and the girls. Try explaining why we are listening to the sound of wind through the windows to a 2 and 3 year old. It doesn't go over very well.

"MOMMY! We want to listen to Shrek!"

"Sorry girls, how about this....whhhooooossshhhhhh!!!"

It just isn't the same, and they knew it, and I suffered for it. But the worse part is I have to drive around quite a bit for my job. No music. Too much thinking time. Not just about life in general, but the fact that the "check engine" light has been one for a long long time and it would be my luck that it actually meant something was wrong and the car stopped while I was driving it. Then there's the whole fact that the air conditioning only works if you have it set to the highest setting.

WHHHHHHHOOOOOOSHHHHHHH!

And there were my curls blowing in all directions, up and down, and side to side. Awesome. I was going to look great!

"Sue! What did you do with your hair? It looks so...so...Bouffant!"

"Oh, that's just the air conditioning creating a wind tunnel in the car."

That's it! I decided to ask the head custodian at work if he would look at the radio and see if he could get it to work. At the very least I needed music to get me through the day, to survive the garbage dump I was riding around in. He looked at it, and couldn't figure it out. He thought everything was hooked up ok, so the next question was, does the radio work? Dion bought it off of eBay, and although I am a huge fan, sometimes you get screwed.

I decided to take the car to a local mechanic. He had his 17 year old-ish kid look at it, and he fixed it within an hour. But before I let him set foot in the car, I had to warn him of some of the things he may find in there (and that it was my husband's car, not mine. Yuck. Just...just...yuck!). For example, q-tips on the floor. Not mine. Garbage from one side of the floor to the other. Not mine. Purse. Ok, that was mine. They probably didn't believe me though and got a good chuckle out of it when I had left. I didn't care. I had music. I called Dion and said,

"Listen to this!!"

He thought that something else was wrong with the car and was totally shocked to hear tunes blaring from the radio.

So Prism and I bonded the rest of the day. I said I was sorry to leave him in the hands of someone who is cleanliness-challenged. I offered to clean him up a bit, but had no clue what to do with everything since the trunk was full of junk too. Ha ha ha! Junk in the trunk! I was sure that there was a purpose to having a winter glove in the front seat. I had better not mess with his fung shwei.

Now, the other day Dion had to break down and take the Prism back to the mechanic since it was dripping oil. I asked him if he cleaned the car up a little before taking it over. This was his reply....

"I picked up the q-tips.""

Wonderful. NOW how are the mechanics going to clean their ears?

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Twins


Thought you should know that at the garage sale, a lady looked at this picture and then asked me if I had twins. Why yes, in fact, one of them was a full grown adult with teeth when I gave birth. It's a miracle! My God! What is wrong with people?!?

100 Things You May or May Not Have Known About Me

  1. I'm a Libra, therefore,
  2. I need balance.
  3. I hated the color pink for most of my adult life.
  4. It's not so bad now.
  5. I was born with two webbed fingers.
  6. I have had 2 surgeries, one when I was 4 and one when I was 11 to fix it.
  7. I had a miscarriage before I had Claire.
  8. We named that baby Casey.
  9. Casey's name means Brave Protector, very fitting.
  10. I went to a summer camp for 7 years as a kid.
  11. I worked there for 5 years after that.
  12. I had my tonsils and adnoids out when I was 9. I was scared.
  13. I hate needles.
  14. I love eBay.
  15. People I consider to be good friends of mine are also 10-15 years old than me.
  16. I have a love affair with kids cereal, Fruity Pebbles being one of the best.
  17. I have had all 4 wisdom teeth out.
  18. I missed 2 weeks of school from it.
  19. I had them removed in the hospital because
  20. I had a bleeding disorder called ITP.
  21. I touched a dead body when I was about 3 or 4.
  22. I remember doing it.
  23. My first memory was of me standing in a crib looking in a mirror.
  24. I saw the Violet Femmes in concert at Summerfest in Milwaukee WI. It was awesome!
  25. I was president of our church's youth group growing up.
  26. I was also president of our little sister frat in college.
  27. I would do it all again.
  28. I hate feet.
  29. I love having my feet rubbed.
  30. I am not a morning person. Don't ask me to be.
  31. I was a vegetarian for 7 years.
  32. I love steaks.
  33. My college hangover cure? Veggie sub on white.
  34. At one point in college I had 3 jobs and went to school full time.
  35. I said I bought the movie Annie for Claire, but in reality, I love it.
  36. I hate it when Dion squeezes the tube of toothpaste from the middle.
  37. I have to fix it every time.
  38. It's hard work looking cool in a minivan.
  39. I could not live without music.
  40. Loud music.
  41. When I was going through chemo, I found a tick stuck in my head. Gross.
  42. I have a fear of going into bodies of water that are not man made with a plastic lining.
  43. Robert DiNero....yum.
  44. Care Bears....getting old.
  45. I hated Diet Coke in college.
  46. Now I hate Diet Pepsi.
  47. I peed on the school's baseball field....I couldn't make it back to the dorms.
  48. I knew after a month of dating Dion that we would marry.
  49. I have to have the toilet paper from the top, not the bottom.
  50. I was a very shy child.
  51. I took drama classes outside of school.
  52. I was also in Forensics with my best friend in middle school, we won 1st place over and over.
  53. I played basketball from 5th grade to 10th grade.
  54. I played for fun.
  55. I am starting to join the technology-challenged age group.
  56. It's so confusing.
  57. I will not eat strawberries, but love strawberry flavored things...like milk.
  58. That Sponge Bob guy's ok.
  59. Power Rangers, however, are not.
  60. I have had surgery on my right tear duct twice.
  61. My first job was cleaning hotel rooms.
  62. I learned the lesson of knocking REALLY HARD on the door before opening it.
  63. People in hotels should not walk around naked with headphones on.
  64. I like to stamp.
  65. I like to write.
  66. I like to create.
  67. I have no time to do any of these things well.
  68. I am thinking of getting another tattoo.
  69. My hair is out of control.
  70. I enjoy doing physical work, mostly in the yard.
  71. Our mail is delivered by 10:30 every morning.
  72. He's really friendly.
  73. I love Peeps and have visited their website.
  74. I collect Precious Moments.
  75. I collect Willow Tree figures.
  76. I am addicted to Slushies.
  77. Blue raspberry.
  78. I bought Crocks on Brandy's recommendation, and they are so comfy! I love them.
  79. The girls have a pair too.
  80. Dion does not.
  81. If you can't make me laugh, don't bother.
  82. I love to laugh.
  83. Mostly at people falling down.
  84. I sent in a video in middle school for Funniest Home Videos, but was turned down.
  85. I wish I could do Extreme Home Makeover, but how do you compete with terminal illness, honored soldiers, and foster homes?
  86. Caramel....yum.
  87. I was about 6 when I stepped on a rake and the handle hit me in the forehead. Explains a lot, huh?
  88. I have had a catheter 6 times. 6 times too many.
  89. I have 3 years until my next colonoscopy. Who's counting?
  90. I had a pink baby blanket growing up.
  91. I took it with me to camp when I worked there.
  92. I took it to college.
  93. I still have it upstairs in the closet.
  94. It has lots of holes.
  95. I passed that gene along with the thumb sucking gene down to my kids.
  96. I like to go to casinos and play nickel slots.
  97. I like to people watch when I am there.
  98. We have a van for sale. Do you want to buy it?
  99. I am a Yahoo Answers junkie.
  100. Flannel pants rock!

Monday, July 17, 2006

The Never Ending Garage Sale

I often wonder about myself. Often. We had the annual garage sale this past weekend, after deciding a week before that we were running out of time. A week. We had a week to pull everything together, and by God we did. And by God if it wasn't the hottest weekend of the summer...pushing 100 degrees! Then try being in a garage. Never fear though, I bought a snow cone machine and I ate blue raspberry slushies like they were going out of style. My lips were blue. Holy cow, I crave those bad boys. Anyway.....

The sale was Friday and Saturday, 8-5pm. 9 long hours to be outside trying to pawn off personal items. But we did. Dion and I ended up doing pretty well, about $100 more than last year, so that was good. So, with no further adieu, here are some interesting facts about our garage sale.

  • It was hot. All. Day. Long.
  • Our old neighbor from East Ave showed up, although I am pretty sure he didn't remember me since at least back then, he liked his beer, or whatever he drank.
  • We had items from 4 different families for sale, which makes for interesting bartering.
  • If you put out 3/4 or half empty bottles of body wash, shampoo, conditioner, etc, people will buy them for a quarter (thanks for the tip Bran!).
  • If you put out a random wood box that contains pens, old stamps, rubber bands, notepads, and more, someone will buy that too, despite a certain person's doubt (ok, it was me. I doubted. I still can't believe someone bought that.)
  • If you put out a basket for cancer donations, people will give and give and give (I earned an extra $68 for the cancer walk!).
  • While blue raspberry is a delicious flavor, cotton candy is, well, not so much.
  • Sometimes people you don't expect to show up, do. For example, my first oncologist.
  • I sold a rubber ball that wasn't originally for sale just to get a little girl to stop crying after I said it wasn't for sale.
  • I heard the phrase "Is it hot enough for ya" about as often as I heard the phrase "Is it cold enough for ya" in the winter.
  • Why would someone ring our doorbell and ask if the garage sale was inside our house?

So there are some of the highlights (or lowlights) of the garage sale. Are you wondering why I called it the Never Ending Garage Sale? Here's why....

I drove a little under 3 hours on the Sunday after the sale to meet up with my friend Brandy for the day. We tooled around St Cloud, spending money like we had it. One of our stops was at Cold Stone Creamery for Birthday Cake Remix ice cream (ummm...yeah....it ROCKS!). I talked to Dion who told me that some old guy who had bought an outdoor game set, came back to the house Sunday to ask if we had the directions to the game. He walked up to our door, rang the bell, and I guess really thought that it wasn't a big deal. I think he called Dion his buddy, or was it pal? I don't know, either way, Dion was not too happy the guy showed up. Kind of odd, but not so much in the old guy's eyes I guess.

So that was that. I will admit that all the stuff we didn't sell is sitting nicely in our garage, waiting for the weather to cool down to be packed up. The hell if I will go out there now and do it. Maybe when it's in the 80's, but certainly not in the 90's. I would wonder more about myself if I did that in this heat.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Some Things I Have Wondered

Why is it the day I leave stuff out over night, it rains for the first time in a long long time?

Why can I pick at my incisions with no problem, but as soon as a doctor touches them, I feel like I might vomit?

Why as soon as I sit down to type, do the kids decide to raise the roof with their fighting?

I saw a lady cutting the grass one day when I was driving around. Why do you suppose she had a shower cap on her head?

Some of the nicest people I met are either battling cancer, have battled cancer, or is one of their family members.

Why is it when I finally get comfortable at night I have a hot flash and just about die?

Why is it when I have just fallen asleep and have cooled down from the hot flash, does Claire decide to come into our room?

Why are my kids so different in every way (except when Nadia copies Claire)?

Why are tattoos so addicting?

Why is it that total strangers have stepped up to the plate in donating to me for the cancer walk? People I have never met....I am still in awe....

Who is Murphy of Murphy's Law and does he know how many people would like to get their hands on him?

What is the mystery in the following words and their meanings....there, their, & they're?

How about these.....to, two, & too? I could go on forever....

Why is it I can not talk to a friend for months but then pick up right where we left off without missing a beat?

Why do we always want what we can't have, and what to get rid of things we do have?

Why do some people of higher standing have such horrible ethics but they still make all the money? (please note the words "some people")

Why is it so funny when your kids do naughty things but you can't laugh?

Why do I bother?

Friday, July 07, 2006

Claire and Sleeping = Pain For Me

Claire is a bed hog. That is the long and short of it. And not only that, but she thrashes and kicks and last night she did a karate chop to my throat. What the hell? Does she not understand the pain I went through giving birth to her 10 pound body? At the very least she should be chopping Dion, not me. He had the easy part in the whole procreation process....

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

I Saw My Coke Supplier

Diet Coke, that it. Today is Wednesday, but it feels like a Monday, but this is kind of a crazy work week anyway since I have to work Friday too, which I normally have off. Are you following? I'm not. That is why I leave notes for myself.

Monday I went to Mayo for my shot, and got to chat with my pals, the nurses and Bill (the above mentioned Diet Coke Supplier), and I was even lucky enough to cross paths with Hope, my breast cancer bud. We were able to chat for a few minutes, then it was off to radiation for her, and the shot for me. But, before that happened we were able to witness something that will stick in my minds eye forever. Mayo is a big building, or actually, many big buildings put together. Anyway, way down at the other end of the Gonda 10 building, I saw an older man on a scooter. And then I looked again. Well, how about that?!? There he was. A little old guy in his scooter, with a long fake white beard, and a red white and blue flag hat that stood about 2 feet up in the air. It rocked! And there he went, scootering down the hall to the elevator. Hope and I agreed that we hoped to be that way when we were that age.

Now, I would love to write more, but the girls are thinking it is time for me to deal with the crying and screaming. No, not mine. Theirs. Yup. I love the toddler ages.....