Sunday, December 20, 2009

These Hours

I don't know why I chose these hours at night to start a thought process. Maybe it's the fact that the kids are asleep, Dion is asleep, and all I hear are the sounds of my fingers hitting the keyboard and an occasional animal licking themselves.

Anyway, I am still suffering a little after effects from my test on Friday. I am hoping they pass by tomorrow as I have a lot I need to get done for the holiday. As a side note, I did tell my doctor during the procedure that she was killing me. She wasn't, it just that I'm such a wuss.

Ok, onto a topic that has been keeping me up at night, thinking, wondering, praying. There is a high probability that my father in law has prostate cancer. He has not had a biopsy done, this is just from blood work he had done. I don't think he is going to have a biopsy done. I don't think he is going to do anything about this issue that has come up. What I do know is that we, his family, are having a hard time with this whole situation. As a cancer club member, I am at a loss for words. I cannot wrap my brain around the idea that someone might have cancer, and that they are refusing to do anything (ANYTHING) about it. You know, if he had the biopsy done and decided he didn't want treatment then there's not much we can do about that. But the fact that he is contemplating not even getting a biopsy just blows me out of the water. This is important information for his kids to have. For my husband to have. He has given the excuse that it's a ploy for the doctors to get money out of him, and that he could get an infection from having a biopsy, but Oh. My. God.

What he doesn't seem to understand, dare I say care, about is what this is doing to his family. He said he is going to drink some type of special tea. Tea. And that is going to take care of everything. I look back 5 years ago when my club membership started, and I cannot fathom NOT doing whatever I had to do to live through it. I had kids, a husband, family, that I owed at least trying to make it out alive for. And I did do everything, but one thing that even my oncologist did not recommend.

Every once in a while my girls will sit holding their picture of my dad, crying, telling me how much they miss him. To lose another Grandpa, so soon, would be.....sigh.

Again, this is his right, but that doesn't make it right. It makes it unfair to the rest of us. Maybe we are the ones being selfish, but I don't think so. I think a lot about my dad and the days leading up to his death. Wiping the blood from his mouth from the sores, laying next to him, crying together, picking him up to transfer him to a hospital bed. I see his abdomen bloating from the cancer, I see his eyes sinking deeper into his head, I see him losing the ability to communicate, to go to the bathroom, to show us the sparkle in his blue eyes. So yes, maybe I am being selfish as to not wanting to have to go through cancer taking away another person. And maybe I shouldn't even be writing about this since everything is so hush hush in that family. And maybe, hopefully soon, I will stop being pissed at what he is doing, or not doing, and just accept it for what it is.

But I just don't get it. I guess time will tell as to what is going to happen.

Friday, December 18, 2009


Well I made it through the colonoscopy with normal results, which is good, but it will be a test that I remember for a while. IT HURT! I remember being in pain, and I remember doing some sort of embarrassing whimpering thing. Ugh. Not good. Then to top it off I had a reaction to the so called pain meds they gave me and got a shot of Bennedryl in my IV which knocked me out. I managed to get up and out the door and out to eat, but when I got to my mom's I slept, and slept, and slept until a little after 6pm.

But, I no longer have to do a 5 year countdown. I am free for 10 years!! Whoop whoop! That was good news to me. And so the 10 year countdown begins.....

Prep: The Second Day

Ahhhh...what better way to start a day at 6am then to be sipping on a nice cold beverage chalk full of a substance that makes you go go go? I can't think of anything else I would rather be doing right now. Oh wait. Yes, yes I can. I will make you a list.

1. Sleeping
2. Eating some of the delicious smelling meat that Dion had for dinner last night
3. Roller skating
4. Sleeping...oh wait, I already said that
5. Sitting in a hot tub
6. Having a beer...I don't care that it's early in the morning. It's something I would rather be doing!
7. Origami. And I am horrible at origami
8. Snuggling with my kids

And that is as far as I can get right now based on the sound my intestines are making. It is a sure sign that things are going to come soon, and we all know what that means.

So I will post later about the end result of my colonoscopy (end result! I made a little funny there and didn't even plan it). Until then, I will be hitting the head.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

It's Prep Day Baby

And if you can't believe that the 5 years has passed since my colonoscopy, just ask my toilet. It will not lie to you that I have been a frequent visitor. So tonight I thought we would walk down the road of "A Day in the Life of Prep". Or should I say, run down the road, because once the prep kicks in, you better be able to move fast.

It all starts with an innocent enough looking bottle of white powder and a prescription bottle containing 4 tiny pills. But since I have done this before, I know better. I know the evil contained in those bottles. I have been dreading this day (and the next) for about 4 years. So if you have never had one of these tests, let me tell you about it.

It started with me mixing the evil into an orange flavored drink whose name has something to do with gators. You can't have red or grape (the best flavors of course) so that left lime (vomit) or orange. I have heard there is a clear watermelon kind, but I didn't find that at a store who name has something to do with what you aim at. Orange it is. I mixed the 64 ounces, and put half in the fridge to sip on tomorrow. That's right, I have a later appointment tomorrow so I get to drink this junk two days in a row.

The rules state that you are to drink 8 oz every 15 minutes until the 32 oz are gone. Doesn't seem too hard I know, but by the end I feared that it was going to come back up, defeating the whole purpose. But it stayed. I even had my lunch of chicken water, and that stayed in me too. After drinking the pure evil, I had to take the four little tiny pills. Looking at them, they don't seem dangerous. They. Don't. Seem. Everything was going well, I felt ok, and then it started. Gurgle. Gurgle. Hmmm. It would appear that my stomach is not happy with the contents. Correction. My stomach was ok, I think it had something to do with my intestines not being happy. Gurgle. Oh oh. Time to make a run for the border. Run! Run damn it! Now if I were a rocket, I would be in space right now. The sheer force of the expelled liquid seriously could launch a person. And just when you think you can't possibly have any more liquid you in, you go again. So that was the first of many times running for the pot. I am very glad that I purchased the flushable wipes. If you remember anything about this, remember that. Do not forget the wipes! You will thank me for it. I promise. Anyway, I am doing ok right now, although I will have to run soon. I am dreading starting this again tomorrow at 6am. That just doesn't seem right.

I am torn at what is worse, doing it all in one day where the launching experience is way more propelling, or splitting it so you have smaller launches for 2 days. I really don't know. I am not looking forward to the IV tomorrow, with all of mt scar tissue in my hand, but I am all for the twilight drugs they give you so as not to remember the whole experience. So here's to a clean colonoscopy, in more ways than one.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

And There's the Second One

Well, actually, the second child made her stomach flu known at 4:30am. I was sleeping with Claire upstairs, Dion was downstairs with Nadia. He heard her crying in the other room, got up and ran into the room, stepping in said stomach flu contents on the floor. Gross. Too bad for him...not a good way to enter a room if you ask me. But on the positive side, she has yet to throw up again (yet.), and seems a little more peppy than Claire was. But that has always been the case with her. Either she would avoid the illness or get a more mild version of it. Let's hope that's the case for this one too. And also let's hope that she is ok by tomorrow so she doesn't have to miss any school. She (and Claire) has already missed 7 days from the whole H1N1 showdown between the family and the virus.

So as I begin this week, which involves a colonoscopy, lets hope that all is well in the Flaska Household.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Go Away Stomach Flu

It all started like any other normal Friday night. We weren't doing anything (sad, I know). Out of no where, both girls complain about having stomach aches. Hmmm....interesting that BOTH girls are complaining. I sensed anarchy because of not wanting dinner, but only wanting snacks. But we moved on, both girls ate dinner. Both started complaining again. Hmm...even more interesting. Dion takes Claire upstairs to try the potty, Nadia goes to the main floor. I am on the phone with my mom and Dion comes down carrying a bucket of puke. Claire is sick. And sick. And sick. From about 6:30pm to 4:30am she is throwing up every 45 minutes or so. I would give her a teaspoon of water and she would throw it up within the 45 minutes. Ugh. I felt so bad for her. She hasn't thrown up since that last one in the wee hours of the morning, but it was a long night for both of us. Today we have pushed fluids so she doesn't get dehydrated, but she is still feeling punky. She woke up from a nap and really didn't know that she wasn't sleeping anymore. She made no sense and babbled about never leaving our town, and at one point got into the main floor shower and sat down saying she didn't want to leave. Odd.

Now the thing tonight was that she was feeling dizzy and had a headache and she said that Dion and I were talking too fast. It made her cry. We ended up calling the clinic and they thought that maybe she had a migraine, which thinking about it, that made sense as to how she was feeling. We got medicine down her gullet, and now her head is feeling better, but she said that she is feeling funny. Now I think the issue is that she really hasn't eaten much today. So down with applesauce, and now she said she is feeling better.

Really people, is there any better way to spend a weekend? Doubt it.

Sunday, December 06, 2009

Time to Catch Up. Again.

Well, let me think....

I suppose I should start with my mom. We went to Mayo this past Friday to see the new plastic surgeon. I am very happy to report that he is wonderful. I am also happy to report that if we would have stayed with the first surgeon, my mom would probably be in trouble right now. The new surgeon said there was no way he would do a skin graft right now as there is no good skin for them to attach the graft on to. May I remind you that the first surgeon would have already done the graft, and that would have opened up a whole new can of worms for my mom. Anyway, now they gave her a vinegar solution to put on the wounds in hopes of drying them out and letting new skin form. Interesting enough, it already looks better after 2 days. They are hoping that the wounds will close by the end of the month when I take her back. It may work, but with everything that has happened, I am not putting all of my eggs in one basket. So, while she is in a lot of pain, the hope is that this will improve quickly. Fingers crossed. So as of right now, no surgery. The hope is that she will heal completely on her own. If it can't heal completely, they can do a skin graft on a much smaller level. If she does not heal they will get her to a dermatologist to see if she has something wrong with her skin preventing it from healing. So, once again, everything is on hold. I will take her back on the 29th.

I got a voicemail message on my phone from our local clinic. Odd. I didn't recognize the name so I thought I should return the call. I was put on hold and the department was something about wellness blah blah blah. Now I am really interested in what all of this is about. Hold. Hold. Hold. Yes, I know you will be right with me, you have told me for the past 3 minutes you would. Hold. Hold. Then Kim's voice. I gave her my name and she said, "Oh yes, let me find my notes". Interesting. Until she said the following....."Ah, ok, well it says you are past due for your colonoscopy." Shock. Total shock. They hunted me down and did it in a sneaky way. If she would have left that one the message, guess who wouldn't have called back. I know that I am overdue. I have known that since August when I was supposed to have gone for my 5 year. I can't believe 5 years have passed since my last one. It seems like yesterday when I was saying, "Awesome! I still have 3 more years until I have to have that test again!" And now, here we are. Poop.

I feel like there is more, but it must be swimming around in my head somewhere. Maybe it will make an appearance later. Or not. Who knows. .