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Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Mayo and My Mom

I took my mom to Mayo today for her abdominal wound. While it is healing, it is not healing at a rate that the doctor wants. And yes, it looks better than it did a few months ago, but at this rate, it will take forever. So, to help speed up the process, her doctor wants to start her on an infusion of Remicade. From what I understand, it will go for about 3 months, once a month. Each infusion takes 2-3 hours. It has been used on other patience who have had similar problems, and seemed to help them. Of course keeping in mind that everyone reacts differently, it may or may not be as successful for her. Her wound is measuring about 12 inches long and about 5 inches high, taking up most of her abdomen.

I hope this new treatment works. This is getting ridiculous.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

I Just Can't Stop

All day I have been thinking of my friend Fran and what she and her family are going through. What kind of a deal is it to almost make it to the 5 year mark and have cancer slap you in the face? It's not fair. It's not right. It sucks.

And with these thoughts I cannot help but think of if I were in that situation. My poor family. I don't know how I would be able to stand the thought of leaving them. The thought of my girls growing up without a mother. The thought of my husband trying to raise them alone. I have spent a bit of time today crying about these thoughts. Crying about what Fran is dealing with. Angry that all of this is happening.

The odd thing is that Fran and I have never met. We met through blogland. I found her blog while looking for other breast cancer survivors, and our stories were similar. I have learned through this though that you do not need to meet a fellow breast cancer survivor in person to build a relationship. We build these relationships through reading and writing. We build these relationship complaining about what we are going through. We understand each other simply by being able to relate in areas others just can't.

My heart has been aching all day over this, and I'm sure there is more to come. Fran and Ed had just adopted a beautiful little girl making them a family of four. How does this happen? And why to such good people? Something Fran had said was that she knew God would take care of her either way. Either here or earth, or in heaven. That either way, she wins. Oh to have that strength. I have been going through her blog, back to the beginning. Reading, crying, smiling, crying some more. I just can't stop.

And That is How Fast

I was trying to catch up on my 800+ emails I have and came across one from a fellow breast cancer bud. She is my age, with kids, and was going to reach her 5 year mark in November. Her blog is in my list of other blogs worth reading.....Welcome to the World of Breast Cancer. It's with a sad heart that I found out her cancer has returned with gusto.

She had just had a clean bill in December. 3 months later it has spread to numerous places. And that is how fast things can change. And that is why I will never feel safe. And that is why I cry for her and her family. The beast will always be there. Damn this cancer. And for my friend Fran, I pray.

Friday, March 12, 2010

And The Countdown Begins

I mentioned before that we spent our honeymoon in Vegas. What I didn't mention is that after those few days we went to the camp that we worked at to spend a few days there. Vegas is known as the town that never sleeps, and that is true. The strip always has lights on, there is a a line to wait for a taxi, and of course the casinos are hopping. So we went from that extreme to the complete opposite at camp. Total darkness at night. Nothing but crickets chirping, and stars almost as bright as the lights in Vegas. It was awesome.

We are fortunate enough that Dion works for a company that sends you to Vegas after 10 years of employment. And that is what the countdown is all about. In a mere 13 months we will be packing our bags to hit the strip again after 13 years. I can hardly wait! I know that the town will be different than when we went as Vegas is always changing. Now some people think that Vegas is not for them as they do not gamble. I, on the other hand, enjoy the pulling of a slot machine, but I also enjoyed the shows that we saw. Although one was a magic show and I was a little bit nervous about audience participation. Nothing happened. But, I am curious to see what kind of shows will be going on while we will be there, and will be doing some research on shows before we go.

For those of you who may think that Vegas doesn't have much to offer non-gambling people, take a peek at some of the shows they offer. Seriously? Penn and Teller? Sweet! I am so excited to go again! Of course, if you are jealous of the fact that I will be able to do some gaming, you could always do a little online gaming from home.

So anyway, we are pretty stoked to go on the trip and have Dion's company to thank for it. Is it odd that we have started the countdown when it is over a year away? Heck no! It is totally worth the countdown. And when we go, don't bother asking what we did. Because as you know, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

Sunday, March 07, 2010

Year Number Six

Well, it's March. There are a lot of events in this month that make me think. I was diagnosed on March 17th, Nadia was born on March 19th, my dad's birthday is March 22nd, my father in law's birthday is March 26th, and my parents would have been married 53 years on the 30th. Crazy month.

So I am coming up to my 6 year mark for cancer. I had my 6 month check up last month, and failed to post it. Things have been kind of busy in my personal life, and as you can see I haven't even posted anything since January. Egads! Anyway, my check went fine, I was able to surprise my oncologist with a 17 pound weight loss. Rock on. I was also able to surprise him with my ultra low blood pressure. About 2 years ago I topped out at 150/100. Scary high. On my check up it was 110/80. He took it a few times, I think because he couldn't believe his little eyes. Well, they are average sized eyes, I don't want to make him out to be a freak or something. He is anything but that. Except he seems to mass produce children at a high rate of speed. When I started going to him, he had 3 kids. Now he has 6. I always ask him how his 20 kids are when we see him, but he beat me to the punch and walked in the room yelling his wife is pregnant with twins, and immediately laughed at his little joke. Although, by the next time I go see him, it is entirely possible his wife will be pregnant. His youngest is 1, after all.

Now on to Nadia. She will be 6 on the 19th. So a common question for a child who is about to have a birthday is, "what do you want for your birthday". And I did just that. Here are here top 3 answers:

1. A snowmobile (we have never been on a snowmobile)
2. A battery motorized car
3. A new scooter (she got one last year but proceeded to tell me that her feet were getting too big for it.

And that's all she would share with me. Apparently she is all about transportation this year. I will have to address this issue again in the near future. So my baby is going to be 6. Where has the time gone? It seems like just yesterday Claire was wiping her poop on Nadia's little head. Ahhh...good times.

Did I ever tell you that we have new neighbors? I guess they are not really new anymore, they moved in last summer. And wow, they are fantastic. If by fantastic, you mean the biggest pains in the world, then yes, fantastic. Ok, a small exaggeration, but they are up there in the make you want to move sense. She is just a witch that starts her yelling at her boyfriend as soon as he walks in the door, which is obvious in the warmer months when windows are open. They had their clunker car parked in the grass all winter, which made for a lovely lawn decoration. And the number one reason why they suck.......their dogs. Now, if you know me, you know how much I love animals. But, when one is a yappy beagle, and one is a barky pit bull mix, well, the line has been drawn. We have left notes for them twice (since of course they don't answer their door) because the damn dogs are kept outside in a kennel and start barking around 6am, 5:30am on bad days. And they bark. And bark. And fight in the little dog house that was built for them. And then bark some more. And the owners do nothing about it. They leave them outside barking to their little hearts content. Ugh. Me no likey.

We also took a little vacation last week to the Dells with our friends who live on the other side of our house. It was a good time, even if the wave pool hurt my arms from the inner tubes, and cut up my feet from the floor. One of my favorite times was going around in the lazy river in a tube with Claire curled up in my lap. Truly a memory maker. Also people watching. Never a dull moment with that. Oh, and we watched The Hangover when the kids went to bed. Oh. My. Lord. It was too funny (but don't watch it if you get offended easily. It's not for the faint of heart). The humor is along the lines of Something About Mary, Old School, Role Models, etc. Anyway, I laughed until I snorted at some parts. So if you like that bad type of humor, watch it. If you don't like that kind of humor, well, then don't watch it. Easy peesy.

My mom and I have spent quite a bit of time at Mayo appointments. Her stomach wound is now about 12 inches long, and 5 inches wide. And while that sounds bad (and it is, I am not downplaying it at all), it is finally starting to heal. We have been going to a dermatologist who has been wonderful and things are starting to look up for her. Not to say that it will be a fast heal because I think it will take quite a bit of time, but at least it is healing. She finally agreed to have a nurse come in to help her with the dressings, which a a peace of mind for me, and the pain seems to be getting a very little bit better. But a little bit is better than nothing.

Ok, that's all for now. I will try not to wait another month an a half before I post again. But I have been mentally busy trying to figure some things out, which seems to be an ongoing process. One of these days I might figure some things out. We'll see. In the meantime, onward.