Friday, August 29, 2008
Monday, August 25, 2008
The memorial service went very well. There were about 70 people who attended, some from town, some from out of town. The flowers were beautiful, the service captured who my dad was, and I am glad that it is done. It was much like planning a wedding in some regards....ordering flowers, figuring out food, all of that stuff, except with a wedding you have time. A funeral, you do not. But everything went as we wanted it to, so that is the important part.
Now that all of that is done, it's time to grieve. You stay so busy with all of the stuff that has to get done that there really isn't a lot of time to deal with your emotions. Now there is.
Anyway, thank you so much to all of the comments I got on my blog from you in blog land. And of course to Brandy and Tricia who made the trip Thursday, I would have been lost without those wonderful friends. All the people who made meals for us this past week, all the people who offered what they could...I am blessed. I will be MIA for a little bit, but never fear.....I will be back.
Monday, August 18, 2008
It will be this Saturday at 11:00am with a visitation at 10:00am. Lunch will follow the ceremony. It will be at:
United Lutheran Church
628 W 5th St Red Wing, MN 55066
In lieu of flowers, donations are preferred to Fairview Red Wing Hospice and the American Cancer Society.
I think that's it for now. I will keep in touch.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
My dad took his last step, walking into a wondrous place, and I'm sure waiting there for his was his mom. Claire and Nadia said he is playing catch with Spark again. I took them into his room so they could say goodbye to Grandpa. I explained that what we were looking at was a shell. I asked them where the good stuff is in an egg. They said the inside. I told them that Grandpa was like an egg. The good stuff has gone to heaven and all that is left is the shell. They understand so much more than we adults give them credit for.
More to come......
The nurse came back to catheterize him since he is in a semi-comatose state. There will be no more two way conversations with my dad, and I feel good that I have said everything that I wanted to say to him. I asked the nurse, with the condition he is in now, what she thought about a time frame. A week? Days? She thought it would be more like days. What an odd thought. I feel like I am prepared for the final day, but I guess one doesn't know until it actually happens. I picture my grandma there, holding out a hand for my dad to grab. They had such a close relationship, I'm happy for them to continue that in heaven.
I have a wall where I hang angels to represent those who have passed from cancer. I will have to start looking for one for my dad. But like the others, it has to be one that perfectly represents who that person was. I will take my time and find one that just jumps out at me.
I haven't posted any pictures of the shuffle this year. I didn't take any. I had my camera there, but I just didn't do it. But I did buy a DVD that does a great representation of what the shuffle is all about. I will post it on here when I figure out how to do it (nevermind. Our computer can't play DVDs). I am even in the video! It was filmed a few years back and you'll have to wait for a bunch of people wearing yellow shirts. That was my first walk after being diagnosed, so I am wearing a bandanna. I walk right past the camera. I am a movie star.
But I do want to say thank you to:
Jeff & Heidi, my Mom, Robin, Brandy, Rosanna, Gemini, and Susan
for donating to me for the Shuffle. I was able to raise $470 for our team, and overall our team raised $4178. I believe the total raised at the shuffle was $129,000 give or take. It was a pretty good night, not counting the little rain that we got. We can tell however, that we are getting older. It took a little more to recover than it has in the past, but it is so worth it.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
My brother Paul, his wife Cindy and their daughters came up yesterday and spent the night at my parents. All things considered, we had a very nice visit, and of course the girls had a blast together. They made a lot of pictures for Grandpa and Grandma, and laughed louder than I could even attempt to imitate.
My dad mentioned today to me that he has been having so many dreams. I asked if he remembered what they were and he said no. He seems to be talking more in his sleep too. This has been a long long path.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
13 years ago I met Tricia (AKA: Poopyhead). We have been close friends ever since. Through the good, the bad, and the ugly. She has lived in Ohio for quite some years now, so we don't get to see each other as much as we would like. Not nearly as much. Anyway, about 2 years ago her dad died of the same thing my dad is dying of. I was talking to her last night, and asked her if 13 years ago, she would ever had imagined that our dads would die from the same exact thing. Isn't that odd? I told her that I believe that was a big reason that God brought her into my life. And it was totally by chance. We worked at camp together, but that first year she wanted to be at another site but it was full. So she ended up at Pine Lake, where I was. What a blessing it has been that the other site was full. We have been able to talk about this cancer crap and know exactly what the other is going through.
I certainly am blessed to have the friend network that I have. And the funny thing is some of them I have never met, just people I have become connected through the web, through blogging, and such.
On that note, I am going to go check in for the "yelling" appointment (see previous post for an explanation). Maybe I can get this done and over with early.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
For my dad it has come down to me lifting him up so he can use the commode. His legs are so weak that there's no way he can get himself up. He also needs help getting into a sitting up position. He has sores in his mouth which are bleeding, his feet have swelled immensely, and he has taken on the look of someone in the midst of starvation. I rubbed lotion on his back and it was like rubbing my hand down a washboard. I just wish this would end. This is not a way to live a life, it's not a way to watch someone live their life. It's inhumane. I was holding his hand last night and he said my hands were so warm. The truth of the matter is his hands are so cold. They believe he has pneumonia on top of everything else, which explains the old blood he coughs up. Sorry this is so detailed and not so pleasant, but that is how death is in this case.
The past few week I have said that I believed it would be his last week. I have been wrong every time so I have said that I won't say that anymore. But, after seeing him last night........
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Sunday, August 03, 2008
He lost his footing again the next morning, but my mom was behind him and able to stabilize him. He is starting to say things that make no sense to us, but I'm sure in his mind make perfect sense. He is very active in his dreams, twitching, using his hands doing something in the air (it looks like his is picking stuff out of the air), or using his hands to turn what would look like a facet.
Today I am taking Nadia to the parade for River City Days, and then I think we will go over to my parents house. Our time is limited.