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Tuesday, August 12, 2008

An Odd Day

Well, after my blood work and the bone density test I had my appointment with my oncologist. I found out that I had lost 10 pounds, I had cut my triglycerides in almost half, and I have healthy bones. The physical exam showed no sign of the cancer returning, which is good. But, I have to go back tomorrow for more testing for the Sarcoidosis. If you remember, I had said that my sarcoid had returned but as lesions on my skin. My oncologist said he usually doesn't see lesions, so he is a little concerned that there may be more happening on the inside. So tomorrow I will have more blood work, a chest x-ray, and a pulmonary function test done. I hate that test. They yell at you quite a bit.....BLOW BLOW BLOW BLOW!!!! Then you find out after exhaling what you thought was all you could exhale, that it didn't work because it wasn't enough and you have to do it all over again. Did I say that I hated that test?

For my dad it has come down to me lifting him up so he can use the commode. His legs are so weak that there's no way he can get himself up. He also needs help getting into a sitting up position. He has sores in his mouth which are bleeding, his feet have swelled immensely, and he has taken on the look of someone in the midst of starvation. I rubbed lotion on his back and it was like rubbing my hand down a washboard. I just wish this would end. This is not a way to live a life, it's not a way to watch someone live their life. It's inhumane. I was holding his hand last night and he said my hands were so warm. The truth of the matter is his hands are so cold. They believe he has pneumonia on top of everything else, which explains the old blood he coughs up. Sorry this is so detailed and not so pleasant, but that is how death is in this case.

The past few week I have said that I believed it would be his last week. I have been wrong every time so I have said that I won't say that anymore. But, after seeing him last night........

4 comments:

Tammy said...

I'm praying.
Love, Tammy

Pat and George Jandacek said...

Sue, I've been reading your blog for several months primarily to keep up with your Dad's condition. We hope you get some relief to be able to say your thoughts and thanks and griefs out loud, so to speak. Your expressions of love, fear, and other emotions are much appreciated and mean a lot to us in 'sharing' in a sense what John and Carol are going through. We miss them and hate the thought of them having to go through all this, but are thrilled for them that they have you and your family nearby. We so appreciated a call from your mother tonight but feel so inept and unhelpful. We're thankful for you, as are they, and pray that the swords hanging over your head can miraculously dissolve.

Pat and George Jandacek, Venice, FL

Shari/"Whiger" said...

Oh, I'm so sorry. I will be thinking of you and your family. Prayers are sent.

E. Chikeles said...

praying for you guys!
love you!