Which in and of itself is INSANE! I can't believe that I forgot to mention the best show on TV (ok, maybe not, but it's entertaining to say the least).....American Idol. What a show! I wasn't expecting to see all of the celebrities that performed with the AI contestants. It was awesome, the variety of performers, the quality of their performances (well, most of them. I wasn't quite sure of what was going on with Toni Braxton and Meatloaf), the in general huge-ness of it all. It seemed like a party that was going to go on all night long, and probably did. And my man Talyor was the vote of our AI, which rocks. He had a few star moments last night, having nothing to do with his singing, but his character. It was nice to watch.
The other thing that I think is worth mentioning is the following. Dion and I decided on having Chinese food the other night, which we love. And oh my lord, it was very very good. It always is though. Anyway, of course the best moment of the night is when you can get your fortune out of the little cookie. Mmmmm...cookies......mmmmm....fortunes.....where can you go wrong? Where? I'll tell you where. This is what Dion and I got for fortunes....
Dion's: "Financial hardship in your life is coming to an end"
Well hell! That's wonderful news! How long have I been complaining about our lack of funds? That rocked! I could hardly wait for my fortune. Maybe it will say that I will win lots of money that very same day! Or maybe someone famous will stumble across my blog and ask to pay off our house and medical bills. Or how about even just opening a bottle of soda that has instant win games and have ME be an instant winner?!? There are so many ways that we could get out of our financial hardships, one has got to fall into our laps. I take my fortune cookie, and with lots of tenderness, I crack open the cookie, looking for the white rectangle that holds the key to all of our financial burdens. The little white piece of paper that will change our lives as we know it. The little white rectangle is our salvation. I unfold the paper slowly, to savor every moment, holding my breath, and I read,
"Don't kiss an elephant on the lips today."
What? What the hell does that mean? Why is there the word "elephant" on my fortune? How is that a fortune in the first place? Maybe this is a translation issue. Maybe when going from Chinese to American it lost it's meaning. That has to be what happened. Let's be realistic about this, I don't have access to an elephant, and even if I did, the hell if I would kiss it on it's lips. Why would anyone do that to an elephant? What happened to my lucky fortune of not having to worry about money again? I was tempted to go to the zoo and find an elephant to kiss, in spite of what my fortune said. I was going to try reverse psychology, maybe by kissing an elephant, riches would be bestowed upon me. Or it would just taste like peanuts. I am betting on the latter.
There you have it. Those were our fortunes for the night. Dion gets rich, I avoid elephants. I think I want a refund on my cookie.
Update
I thought you all should know that one of Dion's bonus checks was given to him the Firday after I wrote this original post. I, like I was told, did not kiss an elephant. Those crazy fortunes....
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