Monday, April 17, 2006

One Good Flush Deserves Another

I have a problem. I know that I have a problem, and I can admit it openly. If you ask me, I will answer honestly, with no fabrications. I have a phobia of public toilet flushers/handles. To me, I can imagine all of the grime, crud, grossness, that is living on that silver handle, just waiting to get onto my hand and then into my system. Gross.

Even the fact that I wash my hands after using the toilet doesn't stop me from feeling disgusting with the single flush of a pot. Whoosh! Why hello germs! Feel free to make yourself at home on my hands. I don't mind. Ugh. It always amazes me in a public bathroom when women leave the stall, stop to fluff their hair in the mirror, then continue on their way without washing their hands. Really! Could you even do a courtesy rinse? Pretend to wash your hands by running them under the water? Even that would make me less inclined to involuntarily shiver. Honestly, why take that moment of fluffing up the 80's metal rock hair and not do a little rinse of the hands? Just one rinse that says, "I care. I care enough to splash some water on my hands". Or even this, how about you turn the water on and pretend for the sake of the rest of us, that you are washing your hands?

I should be sensitive though. I do know that there are a few people out there who have an allergy to water, or soap, or paper towels or whatever, and for those people, I will say I am sorry for complaining. But for the rest of you who just don't have to time to kill nasty germs, what can I do to convince you to so? If I told you that millions of bacteria got on your hands with each flush of a toilet, would that have an effect? How about if I told you that some people are a little "messy" when it comes to their bathroom habits, and you are in turn picking up that "mess" and taking it with you where ever you may go? Would that make you stop to wash your hands?

If you are like steel and those things do not scare you, maybe this will. I have many pairs of shoes, just ask Dion. I have some that have been through dog poop (thanks Sammie), some that have killed bugs, some that have skipped to my Lou, some that have climbed trees, worked in the yard, walked through the stores, and stood in puddles of God knows what. With all of this in mind, knowing that the bottom of my shoes might not be the cleanest things in the world, you should know that I flush the toilet in public rest rooms, with my foot. That's right. I don't even touch the silver handle, I know too much to do so. Gas stations, foot flush. Stores, foot flush. Doctor's office, foot flush. I will lift my foot to any silver handle that allows me to. Restaurants, foot flush. Bars, most definitely foot flush. You can see where I am going with this.

What I did not know, however, was that I was inadvertently teaching Claire some tricks of the trade. So much so, that that other day I went into the bathroom upstairs, after Claire did her thing, and witnessed her flushing the toilet with her toes. Her Toes! How could a parent be more proud of their kid?

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