Tuesday, April 18, 2006

I Tried, I Really Did

I have found that as I get older I grow a little bit more impatient with people in general. I would like to say that it doesn't happen every day, but it does. I would love to say that it only happens once a day, but it doesn't. But in my defense, I really don't think that a lot of people out there are thinking to their full capacity. We have been given these wonderful things called brains, and we just don't use them for all they are worth. I include myself too, so don't get all grumpy. I have had, in fact, many times that I did not think before I said or did something, and I know there was someone out there who cursed me or shook their fist in anger at me. So fair is fair. I am writing about today, and all those not so smart people who pissed me off today can't stop me.

The day started out kind of rough with a phone call, on my day off, on the day that I have to trek to Mayo, at 6:00AM from one of my workers. Fine. Whatever. I kind of went back to bed, but not for very long since it woke up Claire, who in turn woke up Nadia, who in turn, woke me up again. Wonderful. Great way to start the day, although it was not as bad as one of Dion's co-workers calling at 5:30 one morning. You should be happy you didn't speak to me that day.

The hour long drive to Mayo was uneventful until it was time to turn into the parking ramp. There is a left turn lane for doing such a thing, and I piled in behind all of the other cars to wait our turn to get our ramp ticket. Except for one old lady who I guess has earned the right to cut in front of a bunch of us. She did this by nudging her way in from the middle lane into the left turn lane. It was as though we were playing of game of "Who is Sicker?"

I have anemia, I go first!

No! I have Restless Legs Syndrome, I go first!

But wait! I have the cancer card to play, I go first!

Screw all of you! I have osteoporosis and a blue card baring a person in a wheel chair. I go first!

And she did. She somehow found her way into line, ahead of me. Ok, I can live with that I guess. If the old lady really feels that she needs to get into Mayo faster than the rest of us, she must have a good reason. I will let that slide without me giving "The Eye" to her.

All of the elevator rides were uneventful, which is good, my check in was uneventful, which is better, AND I got an end seat in the treatment room finally! I think I have mentioned my hate of the middle seat. I hate it. I grind my teeth if when I get back to the treatment room and they seat me in the middle seat. But that's another story.

What was eventful was the conversation I heard next to me. A little history, when you get chemo, you get a bunch of different pills to try and get the nausea at bay. Different people react differently to them, as they do for the actual treatment. So there's this older gentleman sitting next to me, and what I assume is his wife off to the side. This is what she said to the nurses.

"And what did you give him? He was so wired, is there something else you could give him?"

Something else? The general cancer population feels that if you can get through chemo without throwing up, then hell's bells, life is good. Who the hell cares about how wired someone gets? Obviously that woman did. We wouldn't want her life to be turned upside down or be put at an inconvenience would we? I looked at the older gentleman who had a scared look on his face. He said to his wife,

"Please don't tell them to change my pills. They are working."

You should be proud that I did not say anything at this point. I think honestly I was still in shock at what that woman said. Wired. Idiot. Come on, what a dumb thing to say. Then I looked back at the older gentleman, and pitied him not only for what he has to battle in his body, but what he has to battle at home. Plus he had the middle seat.

Fast forward to Quizno's in the subway level of Mayo. I found that there's this whole area of Mayo that I didn't even know existed, and now I have to get Quizno's every week or bad things happen. Ok, they don't happen, but that Prime Rib Sandwich is SO good, as is their broccoli & cheese soup. Mmmmmm.....soup (or 'noodle soup' if I were Joey from Friends). Now my experiences in Quizno's reminded me of a rapid fire machine gun. That's how fast things were thrown at me from not so smart people. That place is always busy and it is a challenge to find seating. I was lucky to have seen almost the entire staff of my dentist finishing up their tasty lunches, so I was able to get that table. But not before some crazy-I'm-hip-with-the-times lady decided that she needed to get to the soda machine first. FIRST! She literally took a step around me, and then in front of me. It was all done in one fluid movement and it happened before I knew it. I got cut. What the hell? I was pretty sure she was a Mayo employee by the way she was dressed, and I thought I caught a glimpse of the coffee brown name tags they wear, and that just made me more angry. I stood there for a second, contemplating how I got cut in line FOR THE SECOND time today, and all I could come up with, was this....

I shook my head.

Weak. What's happened to me? I will say though that I was really quite hungry at this point and what mattered was finding a table to sit at. Which from what I said before, you know that I did. I had a huge table all to myself. Three chairs. Ample arm room. A place for my purse, besides the floor. Some of the tables in there are like those at Applebee's or a bar. You know, really high tables with bar stools to sit on. Across from me, at the bar table, was a younger woman, probably younger than I am, sitting waiting for her boyfriend who is doing the manly thing by getting the food. Shuffling up behind me are the golden girls minus two, looking for a place to sit. Yeah, good luck with that, Dorothy & Rose. I only got my table because I had connections. So I did the nice thing. With a sweep of my hand, I gestured that they were welcome to sit at my giant table. I would share with them with open arms. I think I heard harps being strum at that point. Until the strings broke with a giant SNAP! I had made a faux pax. I could tell by the look on their faces. They looked at me like I had sprouted horns and was trying to get them into my hell mobile for a quick ride to eternity. I apparently wanted their souls and they were not willing to give them up. At least not without Blanche & Sophia. The younger girl slid off of the stool and before she could say boo, these two old bats were climbing up onto the bar stool to eat their tasty treats. We watched them, and I did not laugh out loud, even though I wanted to, and the girl asked if she could put her stuff down at my table, to which of course I said sure. So Dorothy & Rose, who could not share a table with me, sat way up high, eating in silence.

My last favorite person story of course takes place in Quizno's (still). I had my spot at the giant table (young girl and her boyfriend found an open table at this point) and was enjoying my food, when I noticed that there was a man and a woman who did not come together, but were in line together and knew each other from Lord only knows. This woman had her back to the sandwich makers for I swear at least 2 minutes, chatting away with the guy behind her. I heard the worker ask her if it was for here or to go, white or wheat, do you want to eat here at all?!? Ok, I added that last part, but I was saying that in my head. I made eye contact with the worker saying through visual contact, "I know, I know. I can't believe you have to put up with these people too." She finally turned around and noticed that everyone behind the counter was waiting for little old her.

Hello! McFly?!?

So today, as you can see, was not a good day for dumb people. And I don't care what you say, these people acted dumb today. Maybe I should clarify that THEY are not dumb, but what they DID was dumb. Oh what the hell, they're dumb. And that's all there is to it.

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