A Day Late and a Dollar Short

Dion calls me crazy sometimes. Ok, mostly it is only when I take the girls to the grocery store with me. And yes, that can get a little hairy, but all in all they do a good job. Claire even walked beside the cart with me while Nadia rode. Impressive for this little devil of mine. She has been known now and again to dart off in what seems to be five different directions at one time. But this day, she was pretty good.

We finally get into line, and at this point I knew I am testing the God's of good behavior, so I need to be extra careful. I need to keep an eye out for all of the fun little toys at the check-out, for the candy in the shape of a baby bottle, for the product that looks like a juice box, but in reality is a box of bubbles. What company in their right minds would make a product like that? As an adult I would not be surprised if I drank it, that is how much it looks like a juice box. How dumb. Anyway, I tend to get a little impatient while waiting in line. And this was no exception.

The girl in front of me had less than a handful of items that she placed on the conveyer belt and kept right by her side. I thought that was kind of odd, but figured since she was on her cell phone she didn't want to lose track of where her items were. But the thing that got my goat was she stood at the end of the belt, making it impossiblefor me to start unloading my cart. Now, keep in mind that I still have thie girls with me, and I am fighting the good fight in the isle of items that look like one thing, but really are another. Seriously, why not make a lighter look like a sucker, if we are going to start doing stuff like that. Or how about matches shaped like french fries? I think I am on to something here....

I have an item in my hand which happened to be a box of spinach, , and cheese dip (oh my lord it rocks my world!) and I start to move it back and forth, trying to push her forward with my "fan". It doesn't work. I mutter "Move..." under my breath, but I had forgotten that she was on the phone and couldn't hear me anyway. The girls are getting restless, great, and I am stuck waiting on phone girl to buy her three things. Which by the way, what was she buying that she had to keep next to her side? What was so personal that it could not take a trip up the black conveyer belt without her? What was......oh...ohhhhhhhh!!!! Now I understood everything. You see, she had her three little items stacked neatly on top of each other, praying that one hid the other, but forgetting that there is writing on the side of most packages. And yes, I read them.

On top was a nice little box of vitamins, not your average daily vitamin, but one of those more focused vitamins. I wouldn't know the kind since I don't believe in vitamins anyway, but that's a different story. Under the package of vitamins was well, a box of, "protection", and under that was an EPT test. Huh. Seems to me if you are buying the third item, it is a little late for the second item. But maybe that's just me. Maybe it was hopeful wishing on her part, maybe she was saying, "If I just pass this test I promise to use item two from now on". And then I wondered who she was talking to on the phone. Was it "him"? Was she explaining how she was so crafty in her product placement that no one knew?

"Never fear! I bought vitamins!"

But she finally moved forward so I could start putting my items on the belt. And that was the last I saw of her. I wonder if she passed her test or not......