Friday, June 16, 2006

I am Fairview...No Wait...WE are Fairview

Bum bum buuuuuummmmmmm......bum-bum! Bum bum bum bum bum bum.....

I don't remember what the name of that theme is, so don't ask. And are you wondering about the title of this entry? Are ya? Are ya? Our local clinic/hospital is called Fairview. They have this catch phrase of "I am Fairview" and they show these snazzy pictures of the actual staff that work in that actual clinic and/or hospital. In fact, if you are ever on the third floor of the hospital, there is a massive picture of a doctor who happens to be Claire and Nadia's doctor. I wonder how they would react to seeing that huge picture. That may be worth a test. Anyway....

Thursday was the big day. The day of my port removal. I sweated about it all day since my appointment of in the afternoon. Oh, here's a little poll for all of you. Ok, so when you go and check in for your appointment, is it not true that at that exact moment you suddenly have to pee? Then you don't want to run to the bathroom for fear of them calling your name while you're on the pot, so you bounce your knee, try not to think of fluids of any type, and most certainly try not to think of what is about to happen. Then your name is called and as it turns out, you really had about 15 minutes before your name was called (more than enough time to pee) and now you are stuck back in the exam room, really having to pee, worrying about your "procedure" (and I say that word with utter sarcasm in a nasally voice). So you ask to use the bathroom, and get scolded by the nurses who ask why you didn't do that earlier. What? That's never happened to you? Me either.

I will not go into detail about the removal of my port since it involved a lot of toe wiggles, grunts, moments of nausiousness, and a prayer that I will never have to do this again. Ever. EVER. I will say that I should have brought my CD player so as not to have to hear my body being cut open or whatever was going on (I had my eyes closed). But I survived. After the numbing junk wore off, it was quite tender, which really isn't a surprise, and still is today. I will be the first to admit that I am a little sensitive when it comes to this stuff, and really it is all in my head. The mind is a powerful thing folks. Which leads us to Thursday night. Dion came home from work feeling not so hot, walking like a 90 year old grandpa. He ended up going upstairs to bed, and after checking on him a few times, I talked him into going into Urgent Care, which he did. Now, I did try to get him to let me drive him, but he just wanted to go. About a half an hour later I got a call from him, they were going to do a cat scan. I hear cat scan, and I think cancer. I got Carol to come over and watch the girls and I was off to the hospital. I got there by about 9 or 9:15pm, and by 10:15 Dion was in the operating room getting his appendix out.

I brought him home late this afternoon, and he has been upstairs ever since. Luckily for him they were able to do it laproscopically, so he has 3 small incisions instead of being opened all of the way up. This recovery will be a lot easier for him, whether or not he believes that right now. He did say to me a few times that he doesn't know how I did all of my surgeries, and I told him it is the difference between men and women, and why women give birth too. He will be missing all next week at work, and obviously he won't be going to his parents house this weekend. So instead of taking care of two kids by myself, I will be taking care of three. I think painting is out of the picture too. I will just have to do it another time I guess.

Dion's mom offered to come up tonight, which Dion turned down, then he decided well, maybe, but then her tire was making an odd noise so she couldn't make it anyway. And here we are with his car stuck at the hospital since he couldn't drive home. I'll figure that out later. I was lucky enough to have one of my employees come to the hospital and sit with me until Dion was out of surgery, which was really nice, and we have had other friends and co-workers in town offer to help, along with my parents, so I think we will manage ok. I just need to get some sleep I think. That will help. I hope.

So there you are. We are Fairview. Not only are we Fairview, but I have a feeling we are going to owe them quite a bit of money. I told Dion that we never get a break. Never. Is that just how life goes, or have we been dealt a bum hand? I don't know anymore. I do know that I have to get the girls into bed and get these contacts out of my eyeballs since they have been there for over 24 hours.

P.S. I was told by a certain doctor to not write about her and the fact that my port actually WAS broken, so I won't, but you'll be able to see some pictures of it. Yeah, that's right. I kept it. I got it in my very own personal biohazard bag and everything. How much does that rock? Ok, maybe it doesn't, but come on.....

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