Thursday, April 12, 2007

And the Beat Goes On

I got all of my blood work back and it was all ok, thank you Lord. But because we are back at square one I had to go in for an MRI of my head today (insert lack of brain joke here). Believe it or not I dozed off for a moment, or at least long enough for me to snore and wake myself up again. I say believe it or not because if you have never had one of these things, let me enlighten you. To have the full experience without the bill of having an MRI, do the following:

  • Find a slab of concrete to lay on. Any slab will do, but make sure it is a fraction on an inch smaller than you are. Just enough to make you wonder if you will fit into the tube.
  • Here's where you get to chose something, either ear plugs or headphones. I went with headphones with the choice of 90's music. But, since we are so used to using ear buds, make sure that you find some ear phones like they use on ground control at the airport. Make them fit snug so that your cheeks look like you should be saying "Pudgy Bunny" (remember that one?)
  • Find a pancake and use it as a pillow.
  • Place your head into a vice-like object and tighten 'er up so that you really do look like you are saying "Pudgy Bunny".
  • Find a gutter that is placed under a driveway, you know, the cylinder that if you look into, you can see to the other side of the yard? Yeah, one of those. Now, lie down in front of it and wedge yourself in there, make sure to put your arms on your chest so they don't get crushed.
  • Find a friend and have them take a metal poll and bang on the drain while you are in there for the next 20 minutes, and viola! You have just experienced an MRI. Congratulations.

I get the results for that test tomorrow. In the meantime, I have re-scheduled the removal of my ovaries for May 2nd, unless a spot opens up sooner than that. The I will say Ova re Ovaries, and really mean it. That's all for now, I am running on empty, so I better go.


Kim said...

You explained it beautifully! MRI is not my favorite choice. Although I have never had to worry about my head in a vice. I have had my back done several times. The ditch drain comparison...perfect!!!

Amalia said...

I think you should throw a party for your ovaries... a bon voyage party. It'd be a way to put a positive spin on things for you, and I'm sure your ovaries would appreciate it. Think about it - it will be the first time they've been allowed out of the house!

Kidding, of course. I hope the surgery goes well and that you are back to your rockin' self in no time!


You know, I read this over and... I don't think I'm as funny as I think I am. Hmmm. Feel free to KICK ME IN THE HEAD if this comment offends/upsets you. :-$

Kim said...

Just read your comment on my blog...sweat? I thought maybe I walked through a shower or some rain and didn't know it. :) When I am in Red Wing having this baby, I'll have to get a hold of Charlie or and Dion should come up and see her. Yeah, I'm inviting you to see me at my 'best' and I've never even met you...I love it!!