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Monday, May 07, 2007

So I've Been Thinking

And I thought it was about time to write about the emotional state of my mind after losing those little bitty organs that enable a woman to reproduce. I have thought and thought about it and how I feel about it, and maybe it's just the Vicadin talking, but I feel pretty good. I haven't had a moments doubt of the decision I made, I haven't felt like it was too extreme, I feel pretty good.

There may come a time when I don't feel good, or I have regrets, or I want those things that look like little brains back, but we will deal with that when, and if, it comes. Here's one of the ways that I felt I knew I was doing the right thing. For a few months I would get this little twinge of "What if...." and then I would think that we could have another child and life would be grand and we would continue to have more and more babies until I was the old woman who lived in a shoe. And always when I had these thoughts, I landed on the thought of "I can't trust a 'what if '. I can't take that risk." And that is how I knew that I was doing what was right for me.

I had Dion write a little message on my belly for all to see. It said "Au Revoir Ovaries!" I also didn't realize then extent of shaving that they were going to do. Wow. That's really all I can say about that. Wow.

Tomorrow I go to Mayo for the last study shot per my doctor's orders, which is good, then I can say goodbye to everyone, at least until my 6 month check. I have been going to Mayo for this shot every month for almost 3 years now. I am looking forward to this chapter of my life ending, although I will miss the Mayo staff. They have been wonderful to me.

I think I will put here that the post prior to this one has some pictures in it not all people would like to see. No, not the shaving job the nurse did, internal pictures that if you have a weak stomach, just go ahead and pass them up. I won't feel bad. Sniff.

3 comments:

Shari said...

Glad to see that your surgery went well. I didn't get grossed out by your pictures. (I took Anatomy. If I can handle that, this is nothing.)

Looking forward to the next chapter. :)

Thanks for sharing.

Amalia said...

Hooray! You did it! Congratulations. I didn't know that ovaries look like little brains... thanks for educating me!

If your shots are done, does that mean that you will have your period again? Ugh.

~Amalia~

Shari said...

Hey Sue,

Get your butt out to

http://shadesofbliss.blogspot.com/

and she'll tell you how to make a link. I hope she explained it better than I did. I learned something new, too. Opening a new window from the link instead of having the link "bury" your blog. Cool.