I have told this story to a few people, and each one of them have told me I should write it down, so I will. But if you are uncomfortable with the proper terms for male and female anatomy, you should probably stop reading now, and hold out until I publish something else. If you are ok with it, continue reading.
I have been (and I say "I" because Dion is not as comfortable with the proper terms) answering the girls questions of male verses female anatomy. They have been taught the terms from me, but still have a hard time pronouncing them. So, to get you up to speed, a male has a peanuts and a woman has a bagina. Ok, here's the story.
I picked Claire and Nadia up from daycare the other day and their provider told me that Claire had put peanut butter in her ear. I said the following, not even thinking...
"Claire! If you put peanut butter in your ears, peanuts will grow out of them."
Quite a visual, I know, and don't try and tell me that you didn't picture it, I know you did. I was mentally giving myself a head slap as I loaded them into the van. It was pretty quiet for a while until Claire said,
"Mommy, I don't want peanuts to grow out of my ears" I stifled a laugh, but could not control it when Nadia added,
"Yeah, and we don't put baginas in our ears either."
Oh my, what have I done?!?
Oh but it gets better. Well, maybe not better, that was pretty gosh darn funny. But here's another one.
Claire is very interested in my breast reconstruction and all of my scars. I was in bed with her for bedtime and she was hiding Care Bears up my sweatshirt. Then she asked what something was, and I could tell she was touching something, but since I have no feeling on all part of my boobs, I wasn't sure what she was touching. I looked and said,
"Well, that's a nipple Claire."
To which she said,
"Hmmm. Nipple. It looks like bubble gum."
There you go. That is Anatomy 101 in the Flaska household. Sorry if it offended anyone, or made them uncomfortable. Don't hold it against me please. But come on, you did laugh at least once, right?
3 comments:
HAHAHA! Too funny! God, that made me laugh. Keep that story for when your girls start dating. Can't you see Claire walking out the door to prom as you casually call after her, "Claire, honey remember - no peanuts in your ears!"
PS Yes, that's me and Pat Sajack - glad you noticed!
Yes, I loved it too. The poor child must have been horrified to think of "peanuts" growing out her ears and managed to hold herself together until she got to the car. Good for her. Hey, just noticed my word verification thingy (which I can actually read for once) says, spookily enough considering your story "zipmn" as in zip him in! How weird is that?
Oh, That's too funny. She must have been mortified at the idea of "peanuts" in her ear. My three year old is the same way with always checking out my recontruction and having to touch it. We haven't had to deal with Care Bears yet though.
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