Sunday, October 29, 2006

Topic: Unknown

I have been sitting here for a few moments trying to think about what I should name this entry, which has happened before, so I gave up and went with what is above. Daylight savings has me all confused and tired when I shouldn't be, but I am happy with the fact that tomorrow won't be as hard to get up in the morning. I have to work 6am to 6pm tomorrow. That's right folks, a 12 hour day is in the works for me.

An update on my mom....things went from bad to worse for her, and to make a long story short, she is in the nursing home for rehabilitation and so they can care for her infected incision using the wound vac. Wait. Maybe I have already told you this. Dang daylight savings....

I had to take Nadia to the ER tonight. She decided that it would be fun to go towards the steps at full speed and see how long it would take her to bounce to the bottom. Well, I guess it didn't really happen that way, but when I heard a loud noise coming from the stairs and expected to see a laundry basket but saw my daughter's blond curls, well, let's just say panic mode set in. It looked like she was falling down the stairs in fast motion and I felt like I was moving in slow motion. What a horrible experience that was, but we got to the ER and she was acting fine, and the only thing she had to show of her cartwheels were a few red marks. Nothing else. The doctor was leaving the room and he said that she would probably make a good gymnast, which is what Dion and I talk about all of the time. But apparently what saved her from having broken bones was that she must be limber and flexible and just rolled with it. It was scary, none the less.

So this is what I am working on with my therapist. It is the whole idea of how I can get out of this feeling of limbo that I am in when it comes to my cancer. Like I told her, it feels like I am waiting for the other shoe to drop, for my body to fail me again. She mentioned that it is hard to find a balance between where you don't think everything wrong is cancer, but you still stay familiar with your body. But most of it is in the way that I am thinking. She gave me a book to look over called, "Mind Over Mood". It is supposed to be an aide in changing the way that you think about some things. I am very curious and open for new ideas, so I am looking forward to perusing the book.

But for now, I have to go. It feels so late.....dang daylight savings. Wish me luck surviving tomorrow.


Amalia said...

Luck! Daylight Savings has me all screwed up, too. I admit it is easier to wake up now that it's not pitch black! Glad Nadia's okay.


Word Imp said...

Mmmm. We have that daylight savings problem here in NZ as well and it takes me a full week to get used to it. It was interesting to read your comments about cancer. I hope you get some guidance with the book the therapist suggested. I think I would have similar thoughts. I suppose it's about some kind of "goodbye to cancer" ritual and keeping lots of laughter in your life. All the best with it all. I'll be thinking of you and coming back to read your blog.