That's right people. For the first time ever, right here on this blog, you will learn something new that I have never ever told anyone before. Why? Simple. I was an idiot. And let's face it, no one wants to tell stories that highlight how much of an idiot they can be. I know when some people say they haven't told anyone, they are exaggerating in actuality, and have told maybe one or two people. Not this blogger. What I am about to tell you have bounced around in my head (BWAH HA HA HA HA HAAAAA! You'll understand why that is so funny later) for probably about 25 or 26 years. Or maybe 27. I'm not sure.
Let me set the stage for this event. I was 9 , 8 or maybe 7 years old. Hell, maybe even 6. On TV (not on cable since we never had it when I was growing up) probably on a cartoon, I had numerous times seen a person step on a metal rake, only to have it pop them in the head. I never thought that would actually work, and even if it did, how hard could it actually hit your head? As it turns out, it can hit your head hard enough to make stars appear before your eyes. I have no clue as to why a metal rake was in the yard, or what possessed me to actually try the cartoon maneuver, but I did. And it hurt. A lot. As soon as the stars cleared from my line of vision, I had to look around quick to see if anyone saw me being so dumb. I can imagine one of our neighbors looking out the window.....
"What the heck is that neighbor girl doing walking around the yard? Wait a minute. There's a metal rake, why is she looking at it so hard? No...no way! Don't tell me she is going to do what I think she is going to do! [PAUSE] Hot damn she is!! There she goes with her little feet.......WHOA!!! That looked like it hurt. BWAH HA HA HA HAAAAAA! Idiot."
Maybe now that will explain some things to you.