Not So Kwik

Last night we went to another one of our favorite comics, Lewis Black, there's more to come about that later. Now, I will step up to the plate here and tell you right off the bat that I was wrong. From other posts you will remember that I have been wrong in the past, and I sure as hell will be wrong in the future, but in this case, I think I was mislead. I will find out where I exactly went wrong, because I am border-line psychotic and need to know. Anyway, back to my mistake, I thought the show was at 6:30 PM at Mystic Lake Casino, which is an hour away from here. We were hauling to get there in time, and of course got lost and had to call our friend Jeff for help. Murphy's Law. He sneaks that law into my life over and over, but that's another story.

Anyway, Dion had the idea that I stop at Old McDonald's (as Claire calls it), but his co-worker Charlie had the better idea that we just snack on the way there and then eat at the buffet after the show. Sounded good to me. It was up to me to stop and get some snacky foods, with the added pressure of Dion's "Surprise me" in answer to what snacks he wanted. I have a lot of pressure in my life, you know, in general. To add the pressure of finding just the right snack for the both of us was too much. I left a half an hour early to find just the right tastey treats for the both of us. Now, keep in mind the limitations I had right as I walked in the door of Kwik Trip. Well, limitations for the average person, I myself find their food rather tastey, but you knew that already. So, I had to steer clear of the gas station food, and hit the pre-packaged things, and maybe something from the bakery.

Beverages first....I knew from the get go that Dion would enjoy whole milk, because well, he does. Whole milk....check! I ventured out and got strawberry milk (I had a rather bad experience with tequila Rose so you can understand the risk I took in getting strawberry milk). Now for eateries...I knew Twinkies would be a hit, so I got some of those. Then I thought, well, what if he's in the mood for brownies or cookies or something? So I got some mini-bite brownies from the "bakery". Then I thought, well, that's great for Dion, but what about me? So I go to the pre-packaged snack isle and come across a super duper deal of, 3 Nabisco bags of deliciousness for $2.00! Not just any bags, but the Big Grab bags that normally cost $.99 EACH! What a steal! I picked out 3 bags and with my arms full, I headed to the cashier. Now for a split second I wondered how I was appearing to other people. My arms full of, well, just pure junk. I didn't think the milk could pass as being healthy because one was whole and one was some sort of artificial flavor, and I don't think that's all healthy stuff. I quickly went to the cashier and piled all of my stuff on the counter and mumbled, "No gas" which is even worse. That statement right there confirms that the only reason I walked into the gas station, was to do just what I was doing. I felt a little like Winona Rider in the movie Realty Bites, except My Sharona wasn't playing on the radio. Oh, and it was MY credit card, not my dad's.

So here's where the fun starts. The cashier looks down and says, "So are we in the mood for snackin' or is this for someone else?" Uhhhhh.....

Then for some reason I felt the need to go into detail on why I was buying all of the crap food I was buying, and what we were doing that night, and where we were going, and even (sigh) the whole story on how we were going to eat at the buffet. Keep in mind the whole time I was stuttering and acting like I was just caught stealing a Twix bar. I had to get out of there. And fast. And I did. And we ate our snacks, and we made it to the show on time, because you see, it started at 7:30PM, not 6:30PM (I will find where I read that it started at 6:30PM. Mark my words...). and, as I am sure you are all wondering, we went to the buffet after the show, and it was ok. I like our local casinos better, maybe because I am more familiar with it, I don't know.

Either way, I think next time I will go to the store and not a gas station for tastey treats because for some reason, I don't think I would be quizzed on why I was buying what I was buying. Plus I could get a shirt or something too, and who wouldn't want that?!?