Do I Dare?

...try again after all of these years? Well, two years, that is. I'll have to think about this for a little bit. 

What's the Problem?

Not sure. It has been the longest stretch of not blogging that I think I have ever done. And yet I sit here, trying to stay in the seat, knowing that there are about 5 million other things I should be doing, need to be doing. But I will stick out this uncomfortable feeling and do what I need to do on this handy little laptop of mine.

Our lives have been shifted, to say the least in the past 6 months. The addition for my mom is about completed, she has been living here for about 4 months. After about 2 months I came to the conclusion that she should not be home alone all day. She is having more and more trouble getting around, or I should say, she can't get around. It is quite the process to get her to the car to go to the doctor, and frankly, is exhausting for both of us. Please don't take that as a gripe, because it's not. It's just a lot of work. So doing that, working full time, and caring for my immediate family, something had to give. Dion and I sat down for hours and hours, revamping our budget and finances, and by changing some habits and making some big changes, we have made it so that I could quit my job to try and help my mom get through what we hope to be a rough patch. Now, from what I said it sounds like it was a piece of cake, what we did, but I assure you, it has not been easy. And it won't be. But what it boiled done to was a state of mind. We explained a lot of the money parts to the girls, and they know and understand what we are doing, and why we are doing it. Not to say that there aren't days that they want to get a new toy or such, but hell, there are days when I get pissed because I want something new. But we stay the course. Some days are harder than others, but together we seem to be hanging in there.

Anyway, enough about that. I took my mom to the Spine Center in the cities. She no longer can walk further than about 10 feet. Her spinal cord is being crushed causing a lot of pain and minimal movement for her right leg. She can have surgery to fix it, however, she still has the wound from 6 years ago that just does not want to heal that last part. Thus making surgery a bit riskier, but something they are willing to work with. And so is she.

After that, they need to look at replacing both hips and a knee. I am hoping that this will help her, and understand that she will not be what she was, but at least she will be better than she is now. It's not easy watching your parents get older.

Claire will be going into 3rd grande and Nadia into 2nd next fall. However we are changing districts. The girls are very excited for this change, and after touring the school, we are too. There was not one negative things we found about the district. I am unable to say that about our current one.

This spring Nadia fell off of her bike and spilt her chin (6 stitches) and broke her jaw. The break was very minor and didn't require and surgery...thank GOD!! She was back to her normal self in no time, much to my dismay. She is a rough player and I worried for a long time that she would re-injure or make her injuries worse. She proved me wrong. That kid......

We are going on a family trip next month! Pack your bags we're heading for TEXAS! Yee haw! Why the hell would anyone go to Texas in the summer, you ask? Why, to visit our dear friends who moved there in March. Claire is besties with Alli, and Nadia is besties with Eli, and Sarah and I are Mojito Mammas, and the rest, well, they just have to put up with us. But really, it has been sad around here without our friends. They used to live at the end of our street, and now they live at the end of our country. What the hell? But we are all very excited, to say the least. I am going on record that Eli and Nadia will be married some day. Well I can wish, can't I?!?

Ok. That's it for now. I have to go hunt down one of the cats that got out of the house. SHould be fun. All part of being a mom.

What's Worse?

I think I made a bad choice. I got the flu inhaled shot 20 days ago. I have been sick for 19. What the heck? Not enough to miss work because of it, but enough to make me grumpy about it. Not much I can do about it I guess, except just say no next year. And forever after that. I am kind of wondering if my Sarcoidosis has played a part in me having such a rough time with this, but who knows? Maybe the radiation has messed up part of my lungs as well.

We are getting closer and closer in being done with the whole addition process. They are working on the little things now, and as it seems we are looking at next weekend to start the moving process with my mom. I was up in her area earlier today and was looking at the sun pouring in through the windows. It was beautiful. I know she will love her area, simply for that. That and she can watch the girls sled down the hill in the backyard just by looking out her window. Yes, this has worked out better than any of us thought it would. I am just feeling the need to get her in here sooner than later. She seems to be in a lot more pain than she has been lately, and I worry quite a but about her. In the past the back surgeon said he wanted her off all pain meds for 3 months prior to him doing surgery. I don't see how that will be possible. Today I mentioned maybe getting a second opinion just to see what another doctor thinks. The plan for now is to try and get the front wound healed, and then go for the second opinion. Something has to change here as she can't keep going in the stage she is in.

I could use a nap. Not that I will get one, I just said I could use one. That and something sweet. And maybe a large win in the lottery. And a bathroom break. Better go.....in more ways than one....hahahah!!

A Rocking Saturday Night

But not really. In fact the only ones rocking tonight would be Claire and her friend Alli who are doing Just Dance on the Wii. Interesting stuff. Nadia and her friend Eli are upstairs doing lord knows what. They are a lot alike. Almost scary alike. We are having a sleepover with Allie and Eli, who live down the street. A fun group of kids to watch. We'll see what happens at bedtime though.

My mom's carpet was put in yesterday. We are that much closer to her moving in, and she is very excited. Her part of the home looks amazing, and I am excited for her too. There's some odds and ends that need to be done and then it's moving time.

Remember how I said I was sick from the flu shot? I am just starting to lose the cough. Two weeks people. It was almost two weeks ago that this started. What the heck?

I was at Perkins the other day, and I saw the strangest sight. I tried to get a picture of this guy, just to prove what I saw, but I lost the opportunity so I will just have to explain in to you and trust that you will believe what I saw. I had a profile view of a man with a mustache and a beard. He was sitting with a woman, so keep in mind she had a head on view of this guy. As he sat, deep in conversation, I saw something dripping out of his nose which I can only assume was snot. It hung on his mustache and slowly dripped down to where I thought it was going to drip on to his plate. And he just kept talking. And she just kept looking at him, not in awe or disgust, just like a normal conversation with the added effect of snot. I know I furrowed my brow in disbelief as I fumbled for my phone. But after the drip was about an inch long, he wiped it. I didn't see her motion to her own nose in an attempt to tell him he had a little something dripping, so I can only guess he finally noticed that snot was dripping out of his nose. So that was my Perkins adventure, which I missed documenting and posting on Facebook. Sad.

Ok, now I have to do some hairstyles for the girls while the kids all try to agree on one movie to watch. This will be interesting. And probably not productive.

A New Look

I did not know how hard it would be to pick a new layout and colors and such for my blog. There's a lot to pick from but to find the right one which shows who you are or what you want to be or what you stand for, was tough. I flipped through quite a few pictures and designs and colors and found this one. A simple flower, beautiful in it's own way. Not with a lot of colors, not flashy, just a little touch of nature to remind us of how beautiful things around us really are. Perfect.

As this first month is thinking about coming to an end, I have been thinking as well. Thinking about the direction of my life, my family's lives. Thinking about things that I need to change, keeping in mind that I can not make anyone else change. Not putting so much emotion in to things that are not how I would like them to be, but rather accepting them for what they are, and moving on. I may not be surrounded by all of my friends, as they are currently located all around the world (literally), but I know no matter what I can call on them. I know that they will support me, give me advise, and just, for lack of better terms, be there. And that, my friends, is priceless. Especially when you start to doubt yourself, or things that may have happened. I can count on them to tell me what they think honestly, and they help keep me grounded. Some issues came up and I asked one of my camp friends who was visiting this weekend if I was the one who was not thinking through the situation with an open mind. How amazing to have people that I can trust and talk to openly without being judged.

Anyway, I am so exhausted as of late, and to add to that, I got the flu inhaler on Monday night and now I am sick with a gross cough and horrible headaches. This is the last time I am getting the flu shot. I always seem to get sick after it. All I want to do is sleep and in fact I have dozed off about three times doing this post. Ugh. So enjoy the simplicity of the flower and decide what it means to you. New life? Love of nature? A hint of what's to come? You decide. I already have.

The End of Another Year

I can't believe this year is almost over. And what better way to end it than with the flu. Ugh. Not so good times, but I am over the hump and will go back to work tomorrow after missing 2 days. I am still a little sore but I think it was from the actual puking process.

I have had the girls home with me today and it was manageable. There were times when I wanted to crawl under my covers in my bed to get away from them, but I didn't. Like when Nadia was bouncing against the couch, or when Claire was yelling in my ear, or when they took over the TV. But then I remember the cards they bought me and signed with their cute penmanship, and the soft teddy bears they picked out and gave to me last night, and every thing's alright. It's not easy on anyone when Mommy's sick. The world sort of comes to a screeching halt as though nothing is capable of happening until said Mommy is healthy again. Why is that? I did manage to clean the kitchen (twice) today. Once from the normal kitchen clean up stuff, then again to pick up all of the play dough gadgets left from the girls. Of course that had to include sweeping up the little bits of dough that were all over the floor. I have a headache, but I really don't want to have to go upstairs to get the pills. I'm tired and crabby and Dion just sent a text that he is running almost an hour late. Fantastic. Good day to have him come home late.

But anyway, this year was kind of up and down for me. I am looking forward to starting a new year, with new hopes and such. I am hoping that I can get some energy back and enjoy things more than I did in 2010.

I have to stop for now, as I have four extra eyes looking over me and reading everything out loud, which may or may not be exasperating my headache. But it is kind of funny listening to my eldest trying to pronounce it. Repeatedly. Can't figure out why my head hurts....

Merry Christmas Eve!

I think we are setting records in the amount of snow this year. Not too long ago we got about 20 inches, then added another 6 or so, then today added another 4 or 5. Snow snow snow! But that's ok. It is so beautiful outside, and rather peaceful. Which is good. Peaceful is good.

Work is going well. I am still exhausted by the end of the day, which I kind of hoped with even out by now. Not sure what is wrong with me, but it would be nice to be able to stay up past 9 or so again.

The kitchen is almost completed in our house, minus a few touches here and there. It's like being in a different house when we are in our kitchen. It is so nice and beautiful, and very easy to work in. The rest of the addition is coming together, but we still don't know when my mom will be able to move in. I think we are all looking forward to that day, as she hasn't been doing the best as of late. The pain meds barely take the edge off of her pain, and I will just feel safer when she is here and I am able to help her on a regular basis. I know she is looking forward to that too. She has developed an infection in her wound, and I blame the insurance company. They have messed around with getting her infusion approved, which was helping her so much before. They began by denying the medication in the infusion. Now they have approved that, but not the saline. The saline? Really?? I hope it gets straightened out soon so she can get back to the job of healing. Ugh. It's frustrating. More so for her, but frustrating to watch.

Tonight we will do the 5th annual reading of The Night Before Christmas. After the story is done, we always hear Santa's bells outside so the girls know they should get to bed so Santa will come. Works out nice....

Other than that, it has been a day of staying in our pj's, not doing a whole lot of anything. Sounds perfect to me.